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Weekly message from the President

NewsObelix Shaped Warriors of Gaul,

Regular training at cobra, Saturday 3pm. This is in preparation for the international rules game next weekend against the Irish.

It's the beginning of the hill. We have a tight schedule of games coming up for a few months so we are asking for a personal push to get fit for three calendar months of the year. The expectations are high from Asia's fattest, most immobile and generally most incompetent team. Proud warriors are we.

You may be asking yourself 'I am so obese I spend more than 32rm on nasi lemak, how could this possibly change' . all this is about to change. with regular dietary updates, fitness examinations with oxygen production rates, core strength building, and limb skills proficiency testing. It's cutting edge stuff. All this will be wound into a weekly training regime better known as the fattest warrior campaign of 2011.

The diet generally involves meal timings. Friday nights shall be a 9pm dinner at the latest. 4am meals at the local mamak shop outside your local bar on Saturday morning indicates a bad diet prior to a match.

The fitness side will involve participation. On Saturdays around 3pm, If your watching footy on the box , attending a kids birthday, shopping with the wife or even contemplating eating then not only are you not thinking about the training regime, it's likely your not at training at all.

The limb skills proficiency involves arm and leg motor skills. The former is catching a ball, the latter kicking a ball. Generally this proficiency is learnt with sweat not with beers. Your level will be assessed by the coaches using a two tier system from the Australian Institute of Sports. The two categories are known as 'Bench' & 'Starting'. Attendance at training is weighted heavily in the 'starting' category.

Part of our team song, written by good looking Macca clearly states "long live the warriors" (distinctively different person to the ugly Macca you know so well). So to live what we so often don't sing, we have referenced the most respected body for your body. The AIS. After hours of researching each and every page of the AIS website you will note the Australian Institute of Sport generally states fat bastards die young and are unhappy. To counteract such bold well founded statements, fit and healthy warriors live a long fulfilled life.

See you at training,

Love mum.

... May & June & July
21st of May - Manza Ball (in KL - Hilton) (contact paul milbourne for tickets)
28th of May - Warriors Vs Orang Eire (in KL - Alice Smith)
4th of June - Warriors Vs Australian AFL Masters (in KL - Alice Smith)
11th of June - Warriors Vs Bali 9's (in Bali - +35yo Competition)
18th of June - Warriors Vs Vietnam Swans (in KL - Alice Smith)
25th of June - Warriors Vs Singapore Wombats (in Singapore - Hong Kong & Jakarta Invited)
2nd of July - Training
9th of July - Warriors Vs Laos Elephants (in KL - Alicmith)
16th of July - Training
23rd of July - Warriors Vs Singapore Wombats (in KL - Alice Smith)
30th of July - Warriors Vs Orang Eire (in KL - Alice Smith)

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